


Had It Been Another Day

by FutureJetBlackHearts (MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive)



Category: Big Time Rush (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 18:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7652878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive/pseuds/FutureJetBlackHearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After discovering some life-changing news, you drive off to the studio, where James is currently filming Big Time Rush.  However, he doesn’t take the news as well as you thought he would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Had It Been Another Day

This wasn’t supposed to end this way.

Standing next to his beloved red Ducati in the studio parking lot, wearing the usual motorcycling attire, his red and black leather jacket that is and a sweater underneath, James should have been happy and excited to be able to ride today. However, that was a far stretch from reality. Judging by the posture of his body, left arm behind his hip, the other one in normal place with a fingers half open and his facial expression, lips shut tight, eyebrows low and eyes staring out into nowhere, into oblivion, there had to be something wrong. There had to be something driving him mentally insane.

Nobody could tell why. He refused to speak, to give any details. The situation was only between two people.

Hiding behind the thick cement walls of the studio was you, in his dressing room, swimming in complete darkness. From the colour of the colour of the couch, to the TV hung up on the wall, to the state you were in. Sitting on the on the black leather sofa with your legs folded, your knees buried deep into your chest, with shaking unlimited, your body going back and forth, your eyes bloodshot red, and tears falling down your body as your brain replayed over and over again the scene that happened a few moments ago.

How did you end up like this? Who did this to you? Was it him, was it you? Questions may be asked but answers were never given away.

Had it been another day, another place maybe, this would have never happened or it wouldn’t have been as bad, as violent, as tormenting. It was a mistake from your part, using the wrong timing and the wrong subject. Shaking once again, your brain replays the same scene for the countless time, a scenario that nobody should ever face.

Excitement and nervousness if flowing through body as well as questioning galore. “Am I really doing the right thing, surprising him with such big news while he’s on set filming?”, “Will he be upset? “ Will be he happy?” “What’s he going to think of me when I tell him?” “Will he want it as much as I want it?”

“Guys, it’s unch break! I’ll see you in an hour! I have things to do!”

That was it. That familiar voice and those familiar footsteps, that both belong to James. Both actions interrupt and completely stop your overthinking, instead translating to just excitement and nervousness, like before. The louder the footsteps are, the closer he is to this dressing room, bringing your heart to a loud and irregular thumping.

12:05 PM, right on cue.

Pushing open the door, James lets out a sigh of relief, being happy with the small break they had after those long grueling hours of filming. Yet, when he unlocks the door, he lifts up his head from the lock and his eyes widen in shock and his body remains frozen as he sees you standing there, in the middle of the room, being yourself.

“Baby girl, what are you doing here? I thought you had something with the girls” He asks in a high intonation, as a response to his sudden shock

“I just wanted to see my boyfriend. And, I have something important to tell you” you speak then giggling at the excitement of being here alone with him.

He doesn’t seem to have picked up on your words, instead closing the small space in between the two of you in a few strides, by wrapping his arms around you, keeping you close to him, never wanting to let you go as he kisses you like your life depends on it. Only when he stops kissing you does his curiosity gets the best of him.

“What is it you wanted to tell me?” He asks, looking at you with bright hazel eyes that are filled with curiosity and thirst.

Taking a deep breath from your lungs, you create a first mental plan that involves a play, what you should say, what he should say , what he should respond. After all, such a thing, while being common, is not easy to announce nor to live with after, depending on the situation. You all plan it out in your head, including his reaction.

“James, you’re, I..” You hesitantly speak, realizing that what you had practiced in the mirror did not translate the same way as in reality. This was going to be harder than you thought.

“What’s going on?” James asks, clearly not in the mood to beat around the bush. He can tell something is up, just by your new behaviour.

Taking another deep breath, this one even deeper than the previous one, you finally let out the truth, coming clean, no matter how difficult it is to accept, smiling nervously and waiting for his reaction.

"You’re going to be a daddy. I’m pregnant, James"

Countless times you’ve seen him react this way. It’s not new, the way his eyebrows are furrowed, followed by hazel eyes and mouth moving as he tries to register the new truckload of information.

“Wait? What?“ He asks, still not understanding what you just told him, using the same expression.

Taking it as a positive sign that he wanted this and was willing, you repeat the same tidbit of information, including added importance on other things.

“I’m pregnant James. You’re going to be a daddy. I took the test this morning and it was positive but I wasn’t so sure about your reaction when I would tell you. We can be a family, James. Just like you always wanted.”

He’s still using the same expression, trying to understand everything. Suddenly, he changes completely, eyes opening up wide and an angry look to his face. He finally understood and no it might not be how you thought it would be.

“You-, you’re pregnant?” he asks, his tone changing in minutes, from whisper and barely audible to loud and clearly audible. Something is most definitely not right.

“Yes” you spoke, adding a shy smile while putting your hand on your newly rounded stomach.

Reading him like an open book, you know he’s silent for a reason. It speaks when words can’t and right now, it’s all he can count on, except for his mixed expression complete with various emotions.

“James, please say something!” you practically beg him, ready to do almost anything to hear that sweet voice, to hear any word, actually.

Yet, what he does say hurts you more than you thought possible.

“I’m sorry, (Y /N). You can’t just tell me this, out of all the times, when I’m filming, when my life just started. It’s not the right time. I can’t take this right now. I’m sorry. I have to go” he spews out words, each more hurtful than the rest, taking his necessities, bag, jacket and then he’s gone, completely, leaving you crying in this dark place that was once joyful but with the sudden scene, dreadful.

Why did he do this you? Why did he suddenly leave without a warning? Was the announcement of the pregnancy so hard to take that he couldn’t take it? Was running away from the problem going to solve everything?

Questioning once again fills your brain, just like it did so many times before as well as leaving you in violent state of mind.

But James never knew that.

Rushing towards his baby, James is ready to go and leave. Leave to clear his mind, leave to forget about everything, eave to forget that he’s soon to be a father. Just leave. It’s the only to patch things up at the moment.

Realizing he might not be gone and there are still some chances of explanation, you suddenly gain courage and willpower after many shed tears. You find a way wipe to wipe and get out of the building into the parking, where the sun is shining bright as ever in the Los Angeles sky.

There he was, that all too familiar muscular body and back, long less steering the wheels, driving out of the parking spot and into the street. The sound of the motor is loud yet you can hear the clutch and know he’s gone, driving somewhere, driving down the road.

Trying your hardest to catch up to him, you run as fast as you can, yelling out his name but bikes are stronger, faster and louder than humans, there was just no way to catch up to the man you loved and father of your baby. You had to accept the fact, James was gone forever.

Had it been another day, another time maybe this wouldn’t have been the same. Reactions and consequences wouldn’t have been viewed the same way. Luckily for you, today was that another way.

Knocking on your door that night, he was shaking, scared out of his mind of what would happen. What would you say, what would you do? Would you take him back? Would you forget that this ever happened? Opening your door, you were surprised to see him but when true love separates, like the two of you today, they always come back together. There was no time for forgiveness, no time for putting themselves down, no time for explanation, no time for anything. Only time for running into each other’s arms, putting a hand on your stomach, getting lost into each other’s eyes and silencing it all with a kiss.


End file.
